Just One Of Them Days...

Today has definitely been one of them days...when my personal soundtrack includes some DMX and Linkin Park.  Hostile? Maybe a bit. Irritated and annoyed at least.  There's nothing horribly wrong, just dealing with people being people.  And people are not always the nicest, smartest, most intelligent beings to deal with, right? Maybe I'm also a little bit hacked at the Sleepytime Geishas that have been trying to taunt me into a nap this afternoon.  But alas Sleepytime Ninja, I cannot partake in afternoon dreamland delights, I must work.  Sad face. 

Maybe I'm a little sad about a friend moving away.  Yeah, that's got me out of sorts.  And upon further self-evaluation, I find it's pretty self-centered.  What is it about good news for other people that puts me in a fight with jealousy and envy?  And not "oh how wonderful for you I wish I could go too" but a fight with "why doesn't good stuff happen to me?"  What a complete lie.  Good things happen to me all the time.  And you know the heart of the lie is really me saying to God, "why have I been left behind?" 

The truth? I haven't been left behind. I have a beautiful life, with family and friends that love me. I've experienced tears from a broken heart, and tears from a heart full of thanks.  There are people, not just ONE PERSON, but PEOPLE in my life that would drop everything to come running to help.  I used to be the one that did that but never had it reciprocated.  And I know it's more blessed to give than receive, but who said receiving for a change didn't feel good too?  The real danger of feeling left behind is that you begin to think you're wasting your time, and that ultimately you have no good ahead of you.  No future, no hope.  Hope deferred/delayed/ignored still makes the heart sick.

So, I guess I've talked myself into breaking out of the funk.  Maybe do a little kick-boxing or zumba tonight, laugh some, get to bed on time for a change, and hang out long enough to watch my tomorrows get better, like they always do.